I had my midterm today. Good thing the score isn’t important to me.

Korean grammar is too much sometimes for my poor head.

What has just occurred to me (through searching the Internet rather than in class) is that in Korean there is a distinction between being polite to the person you’re speaking to and respectful to the person you’re talking about. Let’s say I’m talking about your mother. I’m going to change verb endings as well as the words I use (well, theoretically I would, if I was really that good at Korean.) There’s different words for sleep, to be, food, eat, etc. If I’m going to ask you if your mother gave you a gift or if you gave your mother a gift, I’d use different verbs for “to give.”

I keep thinking: being Korean must be so hard. Being polite must be so hard.

Here’s  where my desire to be polite is tested: Today I was having lunch with a friend. A few ahjusshis (older Korean men) walked into the restaurant, talking loudly about I don’t know what. Then my friend said to me, “One of those men keeps walking by and saying ‘Ru-shia’.” (Russian)**

“Directed at me?”

“Yeah. He keeps checking you out and saying it. Basically, he’s calling you a whore.”

What had I done? Granted, I wasn’t dressed as conservative as I could have been. High-heeled boots, leggings, shorts (which couldn’t be seen under my wool coat) but every other Korean girl on the street was dressed the same way. I’d just been thoroughly enjoying my meal, which is why I hadn’t noticed the man looking me over.

I put my spoon down. We were about to leave.

“Is it the one still standing by the door?” I asked. I was hoping it was. I wanted to say something as I walked out. I’m an American teacher. Or student something. And I’d say it politely.

But it wasn’t him. I let it go. It’s the price you pay for having blond hair.

(**Note: I am not in any way suggesting that Russian women are whores. It’s just that in Korea, foreign prostitutes are often Russian. I’ve frequently been asked if I’m Russian or told I look like one. I don’t usually take offense to this. I know it’s just because I’m blond and pale. But sometimes, like in this case, you know it’s not purely an observation.)

And speaking of hair,  I decided to try for the second time to get a trim in Korea. I’ve been advised, “Don’t. It’ll be ruined. Koreans aren’t used to Western hair, and especially curly hair.” But did I listen? No. For whatever reason I became convinced that it couldn’t be possible that my request for a trim could be taken so lightly 2 times. Last time was a failure. This time…it may be an epic failure. I say this because right now my hair is straight. The man who cut it didn’t just trim…he did something else. I think it was thinning? By the time I figured out what was happening it was too late. That’s fine and all for people with straight, thick, hair, but you can’t just randomly cut into a curly person’s head. So, it could be a frizzy disaster. But it could have all been part of his plan to get me to come back. Because he said as I left, “Straight looks really good. Next time we can do permanent-straight.” You SOB.

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